Saturday, November 14, 2009
11:12:00 PM
11:12:00 PM
I was really up to my neck these few weeks... Work, work, work and still more work... OT-ed practically everyday till 9 plus, 10 plus and even 11pm... I really dunno why the few of us had to work so hard when so many others cld leave on the dot... Every morn, I told myself that I wld be home to acc my grandma for dinner, but I had to literally disappoint her every single time when I called her to tell her that I had to stay back till late in the office... 12, 13 and 14 hrs of work everyday is truely no joke! I was totally drained at the end of the day...
Last fri, I was so stressed up until I finally broke down... And just yest, I totally cldnt work any further when it was nearing 8pm... I hate to clear up pple's mess and I still had to do that everytime... Why cant pple just do their work properly so that when it's being handed over to another person to take over, it wldn't be such a chore... That just showed what sucky attitude some pple have towards their work... Know why I'm so flared up over such issues when it's such a norm to me alr? Coz I had to freaking waste my precious 45 mins trying to clear up the whole damn case when I cld have easily done the instrn in less than 10 mins... Damn pissed off!
Anway, I've decided to go back to work tml coz I still have 30 over instrns pending in my inbox rite now... It's just so strange that no matter how much I cleared, the instrns nvr seemed to decrease... Oh well, the next few weeks will be much worse, so everything's just a start...
Signing off,
THE OFFICE SLAVE
Saturday, October 31, 2009
11:14:00 PM
11:14:00 PM
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I guess I still am not ready to write a post on my dearest ah gong... I just cant bring myself to do it at the moment... It still hurts and I dunno when this hurt will disappear, or will it ever disappear... So till then, this is it...
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
1:02:00 AM
1:02:00 AM
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
12:44:00 PM
12:44:00 PM
I've got so much to blog but I really don't have the time and full collection of photos to make it a complete entry, thus for the time being, I'll just post the eulogy which I've written for my grandpa. It was a kinda last min thingie and I spent abt an hr plus to draft it. It's not very well written and definitely not all I had wanted to write, but all that I had written was right from my heart.
Eulogy:
My grandpa played a huge role in bringing me up. Without him, I wouldn’t be who I am today. He’s a man with very few words, and to many people, he’s a stern old man. I think otherwise, because to me, he’s the most adorable and fun grandpa one could ever have. We shared many fond memories together and through him, I’ve learnt a lot.
I can still remember very clearly how much I loved to go out with him when I was a little girl, be it shopping at nearby shopping malls or marketing trips. Even though I abhorred the smell of wet markets, I was always very eager to tag along every time he asked me to follow him.
My grandpa had a sweet tooth and was an ice-cream lover. He’s someone who loves food and he’s always craving for Mee Siam and Nasi Bryani, even up till the last few days when he’s still alive.
As I grew older, I started growing very much closer to him. No one actually knew how great a singer he was because he never sang out loud and never in the presence of anyone, not even in church. I suppose I’m the only lucky one who had the privilege to recognize his great vocals. I love listening to him whenever he talked about his past, about his studies and his ability to excel in sports. Talking about sports, I really missed those good old times when we played badminton and soccer together. Those were really fantastic memories.
As my grandpa did not really know how to use a phone, he would always ask my grandma about my whereabouts and so on. Everyday without fail, he would ask my grandma where I am, what I am doing, whether I’ll be coming back for dinner, and what time I’ll be home. This just shows how much he loved and cared for me.
In the recent months, he started growing thinner and thinner, but he’s still strong in the sense that he’s still very much alert and could do everything by himself. It was until this few weeks that he started growing weaker due to his poor appetite, so much so that he required help when walking and bathing, and towards his last days, he didn’t even have the strength to feed himself.
He somehow went back in time and would tell me things that happened way before I was born, so I couldn’t really comprehend much about what he’s trying to tell me. He could see and hear things that we couldn’t and most of the time, I would just ask him what he actually saw and heard. He said he could hear hymns being sung, could see his parents, people in white robes, a long table and many chairs. He was smiling when he said that. Actually, something similar, though not as severe happened a few years back after he fell down and knocked his head, but he went back to his normal self after awhile. He talked a lot and it seemed to me that he’s trying to compensate for lost time as nobody really talked to him much.
It was a usual routine for me to shake his hand and say goodbye whenever I leave each time, but towards the last few days, those handshakes became firmer and goodbyes became louder than usual. I guess he knew that his time was almost up and that’s his way of saying goodbye to me on this earth.
It's impossible for me to summarize 24 years plus of fabulous memories with my grandpa, so I'll just like to end off with something specially for my dearest and beloved grandpa.
“Ah gong, thank you for the wonderful love and care which you had selflessly showered on me all these years. I really enjoyed all the time spent with you and I thank God for allowing me to have such a great grandpa like you and for allowing me to be the closest to you. I’ll never ever forget all the wonderful memories I had with you because all these will forever be etched in my heart and mind. I know you’re very happy in heaven with God right now, looking down and smiling at all of us. Till the day when we meet again, Ah gong, I love you!”
Friday, October 16, 2009
9:25:00 AM
He's gone...
9:25:00 AM
Thursday, October 15, 2009
8:37:00 PM
我有很多话想说，但我真的不晓得该从何说起。。。我好累，真的好累。。。
8:37:00 PM
Sunday, October 11, 2009
1:58:00 PM
1:58:00 PM
It's yet another busy week... Thou I told myself not to stay back in the office beyond 6.30pm, I still ended up staying way past 8pm from Mon to Wed... Oh well, it wasn't all that bad so it's still ok bah...
8 October 2009
Headed to Angeline's place after work to celebrate her bdae in advance... Haven't seen darling Claudine for quite a while, so it's really nice to see her after so long... Had steamboat for dinner, stayed for the cake cutting session and then left her place at 10pm...
9 October 2009
It was a pleasant surprise to receive ur email when i checked my inbox during lunch... It sure did bring a smile to my face and cheer me up a great deal! U take care too ya! Love ya! =)
Left office at abt 5pm and got a lift from boss together with afew of the rest to Vivo... Went onboard Doulos to 'look look see see'... It was freaking hot on the ship and so I left after 40 mins or so...
10 October 2009
Met my mum at Cityhall and then proceeded to Paradise Inn for lunch to celebrate her bdae in advance... Lunch was extremely filling and so we decided to walk ard Funan for a while before taking the train to Orchard... Abt an hr ltr, ahma called and said that ahgong was shouting and crying nonstop, saying that he's going to die soon and why isn't anyone going to see him... Ahma was freaked out and kept asking me to go home... I wanted to take a cab back but my mum said that there's sure to be a jam since it's the peak period, and so I went to take the train back home... By the time I reached, he had alr quietened down but was still saying things that we cldn't really understand...
11 October 2009
Skipped church coz I wasn't really well and slp till 9 plus before going down to see ahgong coz ahma called and said he's shouting again... My dad stayed with him the whole nite and said that he kept toking thruout the nite... Ahgong went on like that for abt 2 hrs and it's really heart wrenching to see him in such a state... Haiz! I really hope that he'll get well soon...
Sunday, October 04, 2009
10:28:00 PM
10:28:00 PM
I decided not to blog in a weekly format anymore coz it's getting really boring and meaningless... Everything's abt work, work, work and more work! Like wat's new rite! Anyway, here's some of the overdue updates which I haven't got the time to update till now...
20 September 2009 - Travel Fiesta @ Suntec Convention Hall 603
Headed down to Suntec after church and met up with the rest of the NATurals... Nat arrived slightly after 12pm and sang 2 songs - Fly Me To The Moon and Come Fly With Me... Thou he's nursing a bad throat, his powerful vocals certainly didn't show it... If not for the fact that we knew beforehand that he wasn't feeling well, we wldn't have guessed except for his occasional coughs... After the 2 songs and some interviews, we managed to take some shots with him before he was ushered off... My cam died on me after a few shots so the photos are courtesy of Jan... Thanks gal! =)
23 September 2009 - Meeting up with the 2 babes =) Made my way to Bugis Junction after work and loitered ard for abt 45 mins or so before Ann and Germaine arrived... As we cldn't decide where to eat, the hungry us juz went into NYDC... It was a mistake coz the food was really below standard... After that, we went to Cold Storage to get my sushi (i was still hungry coz i didn't finish the food) and then we walked over to Bugis St... We walked back to Bugis Junction after that and walked ard abit more before heading home...
2 October 2009 - KTV with the colleagues @ Suntec's KBOX Had a really heavy lunch @ Paradise Inn with boss and some colleagues and I guess I ate the most (again)... Don't waste food mah... Haha! Coz of the heavy lunch, i didn't eat alot during dinner which was @ Soup Restaurant... After dinner, we made our way to Suntec's kbox... Somehow or rather, my mood wasn't there and my singing really went off on many occassions... Oh well... Thou the session was until 4am, Pearlyn and I left slightly after 11pm as I wanted to catch the last train... I think this is one of the worst kbox sessions I had up to date... Bleah!
Friday, September 18, 2009
2:53:00 AM
2:53:00 AM
This is definitely going to be a super long update... So much had happened these few weeks and my life was almost like that of a roller coaster ride... Up and down, high and low... Well, I guess that's wat life is all abt, isn't it? Anyway, enuf abt that... Time for updates!
25 August 2009 - 1 September 2009
As I was in a lousy mood ever since I rec'd the phone call on 25/08/09 (refer to my prev entry), I did stuff which I wld nvr usually have done... That was how the 2 of us 'started'... It started from FB msg that very nite and then it somehow progressed to sms... Everything was really weird rite from the start, but I still went on with it...
The sms-es became very frequent and we eventually met on 27/08/09... The meeting place was supposed to be at Tampines, but it was changed to Sengkang at the last min... The initial phase was kinda awkward but then it got better eventually... After dinner, we went to a park and then, everything which happened ltr was really like a 偶像剧!
I alr expected wat wld happen but then it was abit too much for me to digest... That nite was a 'fairytale' nite, but deep inside, I knew that's not wat I wanted... However, I kept it to myself...
I din noe wat I was in for when I agreed to the request to go over to the gm's place on 29/08/09... It's so not me! I really had no idea wat came over me... Anyway, after that day, it further confirmed that I shldn't let it drag any further...
I went to meet my mum after that and headed to Orchard for some shopping, but I was totally not in the mood to shop... I was feeling really 'rojak' and I juz felt so much like disappearing from the face of the earth there and then...
The next morn (30/08/09), I rec'd a sms... I thot for a really long time how I shld reply in order to bring my msg across... I finally typed a 3 pgs long sms and sent over... I was expecting a reply but none came until I sent another sms the very next day to check whether my sms was rec'd... As the sms was somehow not being sent thru, or rather not rec'd, I re-sent it over... The reply was juz as I had expected... Anyway, I put an end to everything the very next day (01/09/09)... I shldn't even have allowed it to start rite from the beginning, but then it nvr did get started anyway...
1 September 2009 - 15 September 2009
I rec'd a very unexpected call that very afternoon... I was really shocked that I cld get to hear ur voice again... The news was hurting, but I ctrl-ed my emotions, thou it wasn't handled very well... I was very confused after hanging up the call... Secs, mins, hrs passed very fast, and soon it's 6pm... I thot that's it and left the office to meet Weifang b4 7pm...
Both of us had a great time catching up over dinner at Sushi Tei, filling each other with the many things which had happened in our lives... After dinner, we walked ard Raffles City and then decided to slack at Starbucks...
By the time I reached the taxi stand, I cld feel my whole body shivering... I really din noe wat to do... After making a call, I walked further down to another taxi stand and tried to calm myself down, but I failed miserably... Anyway, I finally got on to a cab and headed to where I was supposed to go... The whole process was a torture and the waiting time was even worse! After wat seemed like ages, we left... The verdict: 2 weeks for the final results... Oh great, I seriously hate to go thru this all over again!
Getting thru those 2 weeks was a real torture... Actually, I shldn't have felt that way coz my heart was at peace... The reason why it felt so torturous was becoz of u... I hate the feeling of uncertainties and I hate to see u like that... Thankfully, work kept my mind away from it most of the time...
After cg on 05/09/09 , I had a meet up with the poly peeps at Chinatown... It's so nice to see them again after soooo long! We had our early dinner at Swensens and then had ktv till 9pm... Germaine had to leave 1st while the rest of us sat down and had desserts b4 calling it a day... We shall meet up soon for more fun ya! =)
The whole week (06/09/09 - 11/09/09) was really an extremely busy week... With Shirley on leave and Joey unexpectedly on a week's mc, the rest of us had to cover their work and I 某名奇妙 got appointed as the IC in their absence... I did OT thruout the entire week, except for 10/09/09 as I had a dinner appt... It was a nice 'catching up' session and I took a cab home as I was alr zombified by the time we decided to go home... Lolx!
On 14/09/09's morn, I saw that note which u wrote by chance... I told myself not to cry but my tear ducts refused to cooperate... That nite, I really prayed harder than usual...
Time seemed to pass slower than usual on 15/09/09 and 12pm nvr seemed to arrive... When 12pm finally arrived, I juz kept staring at the time and anticipated for ur call... Will u be ok? Will I rec ur call? These 2 ques juz kept repeating themselves over and over again in my mind... At 12.20pm, my phone rang... My heart stopped for a moment and I slowly looked at my caller id... It's u. it's really u and u're ok! I cldnt stop praising God! He's forever faithful, merciful and gracious! I trusted, am trusting and will keep on trusting all the way! AMEN! =)
I promised myself that a new me will appear on 15/09/09, and the moment I put down the phone with u, a new chapter in my life began... Delphine's New Chapter In Life - Her new journey starts here!
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
11:05:00 PM
11:05:00 PM
It happened yet again...
That phone call totally made my mood crash to pit bottom...
The few hours of wait just made it worse than ever...
Images of what happened months back flashed through my mind...
At least I was with you then...
How I wished I could be there with you this time round too so that you wouldn't have to face it alone...
I couldn't concentrate at work...
I lost my appetite...
I lost my smile...
I lost my ability to crap and joke around...
After what seemed like eternity, the call finally came...
Bad news as expected...
You were strong, but I knew how much you were hurting inside when you spoke to me...
I choked on my words though I tried so hard not to...
And then it's time to say goodbye...
My heart ached so much...
I wanted to drag on the call for a while longer, but I just lacked the ability to stay composed...
I regretted not talking more to you when I had the chance...
I regretted not accompanying you out when you asked me to...
Regrets, yes regrets! I've got so much of it...
I controlled myself real hard when tears were fighting to take control...
I finally lost it when I was inside the toilet's cubicle...
It's so hard to act indifferent infront of them, and I eventually decided to just keep my mouth shut and do my own stuff...
They questioned, they probed, but I chose not to reveal anything...
I knew they cared, but I still couldn't bring myself to say anything...
Thankfully I still have someone to rant to...
Sorry for always bothering you with such issues, and I'm really grateful for those advices and such...
Frankly, time wouldn't heal though people always says it does...
Trust me, it doesn't heal at all, not even a single bit...
It's only a matter of whether you choose to get over it or not...
I hope you'll well...
Promise me you'll be strong, and I promise I'll be strong too...
We've been through it so many times before, and I'm sure we'll do just fine this time round as well...
Give me some time and I'll try my best to cheer up...
I love you and I miss you...
May the Lord always be with you!
Take care!
